The five Fs of future female leaders

Samantha McClary, editor of EG, shares her thoughts on fear, failure, fairness, feedback and fun: the five vital elements that can make or break an individual’s ability and willingness to speak in public.

Fear of failure is one of the biggest reasons so many of us don’t give things a go. It is one of the biggest reasons that so many of us – especially those of us who are female – don’t thrust our hands in to the air and jump up and down with excitement when asked to take part in some sort of public speaking exercise.

But that is all about to change with the launch of EG’s first Future Leaders programme, this time focused on females. The programme will see a dozen women undergo a four-month professional public speaking course – led by Ginger Public Speaking – that will help them to acquire the skills necessary to deliver effective, clear and engaging stories.

“You can’t be what you can’t see,” says Ginger Public Speaking founder Sarah Lloyd-Hughes. “My company and my team are really passionate about helping women stand up and become role model leadership for those to come.”

“It is imperative that women stand up and be counted,” adds Grosvenor director of development Thomasin Renshaw. “It’s really the most important thing we can do. But it is not just about standing up and being counted, it’s about being recognised.”

There is a lack of visible women in real estate, that is not breaking news. The industry is acutely aware of its need to rebalance; to seek a wider, more diverse range of views and opinions and hear different voices.

“We need to do everything we can to broaden the platform that we are providing for our existing female leaders and our future female leaders to have their voices heard and to have further opportunities to talk about what they’re doing,” says Nuveen’s head of human resources Catherine Schaefer.

“One part of it is individuals having the confidence to put themselves forward. But there also needs to be advocates at senior management level who are calling people forward and saying you can do this.”

And it is that faith, to use another F word, that is needed to break through the inevitable fear that comes with public speaking.

“I think a huge element, which is embedded in females but is also prevalent in men, is this sense of a need to be perfect when you get on stage, this sense that you need to deliver the perfect message,” says Katie Whipp, head of client development at Cluttons.

“I think it is about becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable and a big part of that is being happy with not knowing and just seeing where it takes you. That’s a big part of the journey.”

“Sometimes you only succeed if you’ve had a few failures,” adds Monique Sutherland, partner and UK head of development at DLA Piper. “And that fear thing can be a good thing if you channel it well.”

“The fear of public speaking is something that feels very natural to us,” says Lloyd-Hughes.

“I often describe it as something like a survival mechanism. Imagine you are a gazelle in a pack of gazelles on the African savannah and you separate yourself from the herd to go to the watering hole. We all know what happens to that little gazelle. It gets eaten. Horribly. That’s the instinct we have whenever we separate ourselves from the pack.

“Public speaking is like that. On one hand we have the desire to stand out from our peers, but on the other there is a part of us that is that little gazelle that knows the survival mechanism is to stay in the pack and not be noticed.”

Finding the fear and doing it anyway is not always easy. There are a whole host of other reasons why people – women in particular – are not great at putting their hand up.

“I think we are less likely to stand up and talk about the successes we have had because we have a tendency to talk about success as a shared point,” says Grosvenor’s Renshaw. “We women, and a lot of men too, might talk about success as being something we have done as opposed to something I have done and not really stand up and own that success.”

Cluttons’ Whipp agrees: “The passion and everything is there, but I think there is a degree of conditioning, from socialisation early in childhood, where you get a 10 out of 10, a gold star or whatever. You get the reward but it is quite private.

“Whereas in the workplace you need to be more conscious about positively sending the message ‘I’ve delivered this and it’s fantastic’ and celebrating it, rather than expecting someone else to notice. I think that is something we all need to be stronger at doing.”

Lloyd-Hughes adds: “We have to do it for ourselves, on behalf of the team we are working for, the organisation we are working for, or for other women.

“It’s the championing and flexing of that muscle, of being willing to step forward even against our socialisation, that builds a lot of permission for other female leaders. And that is what is really important in this programme, that we are giving permission by daring to stand up and speak for ourselves.”

FFL tips on finding confidence in speaking up

1. Write a list of what you achieve every day to show how amazing you are.
2. If you are less comfortable up on stage, write it down and showcase your your skills that way.
3. Speak before you’re ready. Do not wait to have all your ducks in a row before you start.
4. Get some peer support and use them to bounce ideas off. If what you’ve got to say is of interest to them, it’s going be of interest to others.
5. Don’t take it too seriously. The more comfortable you can get with being able to have a laugh at yourself when it doesn’t go to plan, the more comfortable you’ll be in this journey.
6. Ask for feedback and be prepared to listen to what people are telling you and take that on board in a way that’s right for you.
7. Ask yourself what’s holding you back and be really, really honest. If you think you need some support, go and get it because it is out there and it’s accessible now in a way it’s never been before.
8. Prioritise it. It is not self-indulgent. If we want to succeed we have to do it and we have to find that space and bandwidth for it.

To send feedback, e-mail samantha.mcclary@egi.co.uk or tweet @samanthamcclary or @estatesgazette